College: A Roller Coaster of a Lifetime.

Four years....FOUR...That's 38 months, 1090 days, 7630 hours, 4 summers, 4 Easters, 4 Christmases 16 lessons, 167 exams, 23 different teachers and 111 different classmates.... But I'm finally out of there!!!

A lot has happened in four years, there have been ups and many downs. I've lost friends, some who I will never see again without even having the chance to say goodbye, others, we have had stupid fights and now we don't talk. I've battled eating disorders, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, bullying and abuse...But guess what? I made it, I made it through the dark tunnel and am now out the other side.

And along the way I made new friends, I've laughed, I've cried: I've won, I've lost; I've been happy, I've been sad; I've been helped, I've been hurt; I've helped, I've been let down; But most of all I've lived and I've learnt valuable lessons, all of which I will carry with me until the end of my journey.

Four years, going into the same building, sitting through the same lessons, some you rather enjoy, others were bearable, then you have those you could have done without and dreaded. A bit like the teachers, you had 3 or 4 that cared and then 19 others who couldn't give a damn, who would constantly tell you they  don't care if you pass or fail cause they get paid the same. No pride in their job what so ever.

Classmates... Wow, what a bunch of misfits we were and it seemed to get worse every year!! As the weeks went on I found it harder to trust people: Everyone was at each others throats, picking on one an another, the fights and arguments were constant. There were HUGE  clashes of opinion, so I learnt to keep my mouth shout, keep my opinion to myself and only trust a handful of friends.

The teachers at my old school weren't very helpful when I asked about college; their answers was always "Don't do it, you're not clever enough and you'll just embarrass yourself". That made me more determined to not only go to college but to pass and prove to them I'm not stupid.

I went into college not having a clue what I was getting myself into. Ending up way out of my depth, fighting demons in my head, voices telling me I was never going to be good enough. I slowly got the hang of it. I taught myself how to get through those days where you could so easily give up, to refuse to lose and to keep going , it didn't matter if I wasn't the best, the prettiest, the most clever or the skinniest. I just had to keep moving forward, I just had to survive.

College is like a marathon, if you go in thinking it's a 100m sprint you won't reach the finish line. But if you pace  yourself, taking it one day at a time, one lesson at a time you'll be able to reach that finish line, you'll be exhausted but you'll get there. After four years of shire pressure and stress I've finally finished my marathon and I'm proud of what I've managed to achieve and overcome.

Now I've been set free, let out into the big wide world. I still have lots of vital lessons to learn but everyday I'm that one step closer. How do I sum up the last four years?  A ROLLER COASTER OF A LIFETIME!! One that's made me a stronger person, One with a happy ending.

Dear Ayrton...

Dear Ayrton,

I never had the chance to appreciate you racing skills as I was very young when your life was tragically taken away from you. My dad talked about you a lot while I was growing up and when I was old enough to appreciate your driving  he showed me videos of your racing and I could see why you are one of his favourite drivers of all time.

You were so competitive and cruel on the track but so kind and caring at the same time, off the track. You were the first one there if someone had crashes to try and help them and after the crashes you would go back to that spot and see how you could prevent it from happening again. You could drive in conditions that other driver just couldn't. You are the 'Rain Master'. At the same time you were a very controversial driver, always wanting to be perfect, having the fastest lap, pole and race win. Sometimes you pushed yourself too hard, Monaco 1988 jumps to mind and then the Japanese Grand prix in 1990 when you took out Prost to win the championship, these actions made some people dislike you, but you won over the hearts of millions.

There are two things that you said that will stick with me forever, both in 1993. The first one is: “If you no longer go for a gap you are no longer a racing driver”. And the second: “ If you think I´m fast wait to you see my nephew Bruno “ and I think if people give him a chance he will be!

Two things were always very close to your heart: Your faith in God and your beloved Brazil. You famously quoted 'When God is on your side everything becomes clearer' and 'Nothing will separate me from God' two quotes you truly believed in. Then we come to Brazil, your beloved Brazil, your home country and you own people, you gave them so much hope and so much to look forward to on weekends, you gave them something to live for.

Racing these days isn't the same, before it was more about driver skill, now a days it's more about which team has the best mechanics and designers, it's become to easy and races are becoming more boring. I much prefer to watch an old classic race, they are more entertaining and they are real men racing. Racing changed a lot since you went, noting is the same now. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say We miss your racing but most of all, we miss you.

Thank you for all the excitement and enjoyment you gave us week after week, year after year. You will be forever missed and loved.

Love from and entire nation of Formula One supporters.

'Because in a split second, it's gone'

 

 

Small and Insignificant steps for some, huge steps for others!

1.Eating

Something as normal as eating can be a huge milestone to some. Being told you’re fat is hard to hear, being told every day is harder. It becomes worse when you believe it. You become very self-conscious and cut down on food. Yep, simple as that, you eat the minimum you can survive on, the people who surround you don’t tend to notice as quick. I know, because I did it, weight just falls off. But that’s not the hard bit, the hard bit is, once they notice, coming to terms with eating again. Your body has come so used to eating so little… You have to retrain it to eat properly again. It takes a while and it’s hard, the sigh and smell of food makes you feel ill, but you battle on. Something as simple as ‘If you eat all your dinner, you can have ice-cream for pudding’ works, Yes its very childish but it works. And slowly you begin to eat normally again. Eating, an insignificant step for some, a huge step for others.

2.Accepting

Learning to accept that not everything and everyone will be what we think they are. We are all different. There are people that I sometimes want to kill, because they drive me insane, but I’d kill for them all the time.  Just because you are nice to someone and respect their feeling and choices in life doesn’t mean under any circumstance that they’d do the same for you. They might constantly put you down and make you think that you are not good enough. You need to accept that you cannot control what they say, think, how they are or their personalities. It’s out of your hands. The only person you can control is yourself, accept that. As for others, well you have two choices: Accept them as they are or walk away and don’t look back.

3.Asking for help

I’m not very good at asking for help, okay, I never asked for help, up until a few weeks ago. Always been to damn proud and  stubborn. Never fully trusted someone enough to feel safe enough to let them in, so I just bottled everything up. It’s so hard to gain someone’s trust and yet so easy to break it. Trust is gained over time, it’s not something that happens instantly, it’s a very valuable trait.

Recently I learned that it’s ok to admit you are struggling, it’s ok to cry and it’s ok to ask for help, because I am only human. Out of all the people, that you’ve helped through the years with their problems, it’s very sad to see that only a hand full are willing to help you. But there is always someone there, ALWAYS. Old friend or a new friend, they’re there and they’ll help if you ask. Asking for help an easy step for many an very difficult step for others.

4.Public places

Every been in a public place, like a super market, the park, class or a restaurant a felt like the whole place is getting smaller and the noise gets louder? Well with anxiety and panic attacks you feel like that.

No, we CAN’T help it… No, we CAN’T snap out of it…No, we DON’T do it for attention, because trust me it isn’t fun! No, we DON’T enjoy causing a scene. No, we DON’T like everyone staring at us, but we CAN’T help it. Our brain makes us react like we are being attacked, like we are in danger. Yes, we try to stay as calm as possible…Yes, we try our best not to freak out. But no, we CAN’T promise to stop the drama before it starts….We CAN’T promise to breathe deeply. But we CAN promise we will try our best. So next time you see someone having a panic attack in a supermarket or in class, DON’T judge and stare, either walk away and carry on with what you were doing or gently ask if you can help.

5. Not beating yourself up

There will always be someone out there who is better than you, prettier, more beautiful, more intelligent, taller, skinnier, with a nicer personality… just better, more perfect than you will ever be. So what? You are you, there is a reason you are the way you are. We weren’t put on this earth to compete with people’s looks and personality, we are here to be the best version we can be of ourselves. You’re not beautiful? So what, you probably have an amazing personality. Everyone is different, some of us are crazy, some on us are more uptight, more stressful, get ourselves more worked up and more irritated, so what? The most important thing is that we are being ourselves and pretending to be someone we are not.  Don’t beat yourself up, you are how you are for a reason, don’t fight that reason. You’ll always be someone’s reason to smile, don’t take that away from them.

We are only human, we all make mistakes, we are all different. If you don't know a person or their story then don't judge them, they are battling something huge you know absolutely nothing about, the last thing they need are your horrible remarks.

Is Danica Patrick good enough to race with the big boys?

Danica Patrick, American auto racing driver and model, is the most successful woman in the history of American open-wheel racing. The only woman to win a race in the IndyCar Series, where she competed from 2005 until 2011, and holds the highest finish (third place) by a woman at the Indianapolis 500. In 2012 she competed in the NASCAR Nationwide Series and occasionally in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series. On May 29, 2005, Patrick became the fourth woman to compete in the Indianapolis 500 and as of 2012 Patrick joins Guthrie as one of only two women to have competed in both the Indianapolis 500 and the Daytona 500.

On July 2, 2005, Patrick won her first pole position, on August 13, 2005, she won her second pole at Kentucky Speedway, although this time, rain prematurely ended qualifying and position was determined by speeds achieved during practice. She took a third pole at Chicagoland Speedway which tied her with Tomas Scheckter's record for number of pole positions earned in a rookie season. In 2005, Patrick finished 12th in the IndyCar Series championship, with 325 points. She was named Rookie of the Year for both the 2005 Indianapolis 500 and the 2005 IndyCar Series season.

In 2006 she finished  9th place in the IndyCar Series Championship point standings, besting her 12th place points finish as a rookie.  In November, the March of Dimes awarded her the title of Sportswoman of the Year in celebration of her dedication and success.

For the 2007 season as a whole, Patrick scored her first three career podium finishes. She also scored her career best championship points finish of 7th with 424 points.

In the 2008 IndyCar Series season she finished  in sixth place — the highest championship finish among American drivers for the 2008 season.

On May 24^th 2009 Patrick raced at the Indianapolis 500. She finished third behind winner Helio Castroneves and second-place Dan Wheldon. The highest ever finish for a female racer.

During the 2010 season, Patrick set the Indycar Series record for consecutive races finished running, having finished every race of the season as well as all but the first race of the 2009 season, for a total of 33 races.

At the end of the 2011 season Patrick announced that she would no longer be driving  Indy Cars  and would focus her full attention to driving in the NASCAR Nationwide Series and NASCAR Sprint Cup Series.

For the 2013 season, Danica drives the number #10 GoDaddy.com Chevrolet SS for Stewart-Haas Racing in the Sprint Cup Series, and a limited Nationwide Series schedule for Turner Motorsports.  Danica became the fastest pole qualifier to qualify since 1990 for the Daytona 500 and the first female NASCAR driver to win a NASCAR Sprint Cup Series pole, which was also done at Daytona.

But is she good enough to race with the big boys?

Bernie Ecclestone has famously stated, aimed at Danica Patrick, “that women shouldn’t be racing with men and should be dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances". He then went on to say, earlier this year, that he would love for Danica to join Formula One.

I know I’ll get a lot of stick for this, but I believe that, if Danica wished, she’d be a very good Formula One driver; she has showed in the past that she knows how to drive and has great skills. She is a great driver, but gets a lot of stick for being female. Always being told that she shouldn’t be racing or she’ll never be good enough because she’s female. She’s an inspiration to all young girls who are following their dreams of becoming racers!

People need to get into their head that female drivers are just as good as male! And some of these girl racers have more balls than the men!!

The Value Of Smile

I found this poem about smiling and I wanted to share it with you guys :)

The Value Of Smile

Smiling is infectious,
You catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too!

I walked around the corner
And someone saw my grin,
When he smiled too I realised,
I'd passed it on to him.

I thought about this smile of mine,
And realised what it's worth,
A single smile started by me,
Could travel round the earth!

So if you feel your smile begin,
Don't leave it undetected,
Let's start an epidemic now,
And get the world infected!

~Unknown~

Who will be the 6th female Formula One driver?

In the history of Formula One there have only ever been 5 female drivers:

·         Maria Teresa de Filippis born the 11^th of November  1926 in Italy. Filippis was the first ever woman to race in Formula One. She took part in 5 races in 1958 but failed to score any championship points. She then went on to succeed in other series. She only managed to finish 1 F1 race, Belgium 1958. In 1979 she joined the International Club of Former Formula One Grand Prix Drivers where she became president in 1997. She also founded the Maserati Club in 2004 where she became Chairman.

·         Lella Lombardi (26^th of March 1941- 3^rd March 1992) another Italian born female racer, who raced for one whole season with Brabham. Lombardi is the only female F1 driver to ever score championship points. She received points at the 1975 Spanish Grand Prix, were half point were awarded as the race distance was shortened. Before F1 she has performed well in Formula 3 and Formula 500, in the early 70’s. After her F1 carer she races sports cars with successful results. In 1992 she lost her battle with cancer, age 50.

 

·         Divina Galica born in England on the 13^th of August 1944. As well as being the only British female F1 driver she is also the only racing driver who has competed in F1 as well as the Olympics. In 1964 she competed in the Innsbruck winter Olympics in Down Hill skiing and Slalom, she was Captain of both female teams and finished in the top 10 in both events. She would return to compete in the Olympics after her driving carer, taking part in the Speed skating of the 1992 Great British winter Olympics.
Galica got  the chance to race in F1 when Hesketh Racing offered he the opportunity to replace Rupert Keegan in 1978. She took part in 3 race weekends but failed to qualify on all 3 occasions. She then decided to take a shot at British Formula One Series in which between 1978 and 1980 she took part in 6 races, with one podium finish and 22 career points.

 

·         Desiré Wilson born in South Africa on the 26^th of November 1953. She entered the Formula One world championship in 1980 with non-works Williams FW07, she took part in one race weekend but failed to qualify with in the 107% rule. She later took part in the South African GP as a one off deal with Tyrrell Racing, she qualified 16^th and after a bad start she made her way back up through the field in the very wet conditions. But when letting the leader past, she touched the wall and damaged her car and forcing her to retire. After her short F1 career she competed in Indianapolis 500 in 1982, Le Mans 24 and American Open-Wheel racing.

Giovanna Amati, born the 20^th of July 1959 in Italy. Giovanna is best known for being the last woman to enter a Formula One race. In 1978, at the age of 19 she was kidnapped and kept in a wooden cage for 75 days where she was physically and mentally abused. Her kidnapper was later sentenced to jail for 18 years but managed to escape in 1985 and remained a fugitive until his re-arrest in 2010.
She began her racing professionally in the Formula Abarth in 1981, wining several times before moving up to Formula 3 in 1986, where she continued to win. Amati signed a contract in 1992 with Brabham, an announcement that brought the team publicity. She took place in 3 races weekends but failed to qualify for every race. She was then sacked and replaced by Damon Hill. Amati then went on to win the 1993 Woman’s European Championship in the Porsche Super Cup. From 1994 to 1996 she raced in the Ferrari Challenge, where she had consistency and many wins. In 1999, she was placed 3^rd over all in the Sports Racing World Cup Class Championship.

So, these are the only 5 female F1 drivers in history. In this sport dominated by men, who will be the next brave girl to show them we can race as well?

A Friend With Autism, No Different...

A few months ago I met a amazing young boy called Luca; he has become one of my best friends, he is always there if you need help, he has a heart of gold, so kind, understanding and he doesn’t judge you, he also has Asperger’s Autism. When I found out I had to write an essay on Asperger’s I asked him if he was willing to help and I was delighted when he said yes. I learned loads from him. And would like to share some of it with you.

Autism is a disorder of neural development that starts in infancy or childhood. These kids/ people just want to be treated as equal to everyone else. Sometimes they feel insecure because they think that others are intolerant of their condition and therefore have difficulties socialising, they feel like they are constantly being bought down by society and by others their age.

Some individuals with Asperger’s may display intense interests; they collect volumes of detailed information on a narrow topic, without having an understanding of the broader topic. For example: An Autistic child may memorise camera model numbers without having any interest in photography. These interests may change and become more unusual and more narrowly focused. These intense interests are sometime combined with restricted and repetitive patterns in behaviour.

Meltdowns/breakdowns are almost inevitable, no matter what the age, because their senses, especially hearing, sight and smell are heightened. Which makes loud noises become very distressing, they can become very panicked. It’s almost as distressing as a change of or in a routine.

Schools have special units to help autistic kids; but is this a help or a hindrance?  Some say it helps them because they teach other kids about Autism. While others think that by doing this it’s shouting out to the world that they have an issue, it makes some kids feel very uncomfortable,  and feel like aliens.

Luca has taught me a lot, he has an amazing outlook on life, it is an absolute joy talking to him and an honour getting to know him and in my eyes he is no different to any of my other friends.

A massive thank you to Luca, who helped me to understand. Love you! :)